A Travellerspoint blog

Squid

...or the whale

all seasons in one day 20 °C

Shit. I ordered fried rice with shrimp, but got it with squid.
In our country, this would be calamari. In this country, it’s squid. And tastes like squid. And chews like whale. It chews like bubblegum whale after 4 hours. And crunches like bark. I thought it was onion.

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I was meant to indulge in lobster, but got too settled writing at my guesthouse and my lack of appetite asked me just to stay. Eat anything. Just not squid. Guess I’m just eating rice. Problem is there is not much room left for it.
I think it’s half raw. Or half cooked. Either way it’s half hearted. So is my tolerance. But not my politeness.
No dogs around. Crap.
Must get a photo. Die. Dead. Dodgy. Daring. Better than dog?
Not even rubber. More like plastic curtain hooks that defy mastication. Regardless of which teeth. Not even a carnivorous canine could get through the light purple that is limping in my rice.
4 pieces of silicone down, 17 to go. I’m ignoring at least 13 of them. I plan to tell them, “Sorry, I don’t understand.”
“I don’t speak Vietnamese.”

I smell a dentist in my future.

Enough. This is traumatic. At least they’re fresh. It’s fresh. It never got cooked. It never got old enough to learn the word soft. At least. So much for my shrimp.
It’s like eating bangers and mash when I was 5. Except this time there is no dog or serviette not to chew into.
I imagine this squid would survive an atomic bomb. Maybe both.
I got a tentacle. Ever eaten a chopstick?
Not one person I know would have food envy right now. They’d have spat theirs out laughing at mine. Not even willing to taste a shared experience. I feel cheated. Cheated on.
No, it’s too old to remember the word soft.
“Hi, I’m Jayne. Ever eaten raw great grandfather squid and dog disguised as sausage? Well, I have.”
It’s done. I ate the rice and those extra four pieces of great grandfather squid.
If I’d known the ants would eat it, I would have dropped more sooner.
Oh well. I now smell like mud fish and sea fish.

Good bye, Cat Ba. I'm watching you.

Posted by JayneHol 05:41 Archived in Vietnam

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